Father's Day: Buddha as Father and Husband

Dhr. Seven and Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly, PasaDharma Zen Group

Burmese depiction of royal Shakyan scene: Rahula asks for his inheritance (wikipedia.org)

   

How can a parent best help her or his child? This question came up for the Buddha, who returned to his native Kapilavastu seven years after gaining enlightenment and establishing a Sangha.

His former wife, Yasodhara, who had been left with all the palace riches and their son, Rahula, bid that boy to ask his father for his inheritance.

The boy was being well taken care of financially, surrounded by family and being groomed by the Buddha's father, Suddhodana, to become king, just as Siddhartha was meant to.

   

Rahula, the Buddha, and fellow Shakyan Ananda

The Buddha considered his son's request and realized that the only real and lasting inheritance worthy of being given to his son -- or any family member as so many of the Sakyan women later found -- was the immeasurable inheritance of the Dharma. The Buddha instructed Sariputra to ordain the 7 year old Rahula. So the son went with his father.

Yasodhara was not forgotten; she eventually became a nun and got her inheritance. King Suddhodana was deeply aggrieved and requested that from then on no child be ordained without the parent's permission -- an odd request since, technically, the Buddha was his father. [But a rule was established that no one under seven can be made a novice, and no one under 20 can receive full ordination, without parental permission.]

  

Rahula, Siddhartha and Yasodhara's son

His father the king is said to have been guided by the Buddha to a noble attainment before his passing. The Buddha's foster mother, Maha Pajapati, became the world's first Buddhist nun.

   

The Shakyan Kingdom, with its capital at Kapilavastu, was not so lucky. (Did the Buddha foresee that long in advance?) Like the world we live in, which is for crossing over not building on, it was destroyed and many of those who did not join the Sangha met with karmic catastrophe as a rival neighboring clan invaded to avenge a dishonor meted out by the Shakyas.

  

Shakyamuni and those who renounced were spared that tragic part of the vicious cycle of revolution and counterrevolution, war for territory and loss through war for territory. The tragedy was rooted, it is said, in a mysterious case of group karma stemming from an act many lives before (the poisoning of fish in a river). On account of that former deed, no one was "fated" to experience the result, as those who joined the Sangha demonstrate.

   

But actions (karma) play themselves out when and if they can, which is often so long after that we cannot connect and learn from them in any obvious way. Groups who share karma have a strong tendency and affinity for being reborn together again and again, not as a necessity. It is just karma working itself out in mysterious ways.

  

Given these facts, what more could the Buddha have done for his son -- and his wife, his father, his mother, his childhood friends and relatives -- than give them the immeasurable gift of the Dharma? What more can any parent or child do for family?

(Kim Jung-hyo and Lee Jung-a/Yonhap News/Zen Mirror)

    

But is it fair to introduce kids to the Dharma, to ask them to take robes even temporarily, to shave their heads? Just look at the misery on these Zen children's faces.
   
They were ordained and still got to play. What a loving parent would do for an only child, that the Buddha advised us to do for all living beings -- if we would be happy now and in the future.

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Mother and Father (sutra)

John D. Ireland, § 106. "With Brahma" (Itivuttaka 4.7; Iti 109); Wisdom Quarterly

Perhaps the average American family falls short of the ideal explained to Sigala below.

  

Rahula, Yasodhara, and Siddhartha

This was said by the Buddha... "Living with Brahma [the supreme] are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. Living with the early devas are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. 

   

"Living with the early teachers are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. Living with those worthy of veneration are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. 

  

"'Brahma,' disciples, is a term for mother and father. 'Early devas' and 'early teachers' and 'those worthy of veneration' are terms for mother and father. For what reason? 

  

"It is because mother and father are very helpful to their children; they take care of them, bring them up, and teach them about the world."

   

Mother and father are called "Brahma,"
"Early teachers," and "worthy of veneration,"
Being compassionate towards
Their family of children.
Thus the wise venerate them,
Pay them due honor,
Provide them with food and drink,
Give them clothing and a bed,
Anoint and bathe them
And also wash their feet.
When one performs such service
For mother and father,
They praise that wise person even here
And hereafter that person rejoices in heaven.

 

The East: Life Begins with Parents' Care

Excerpt, Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly translation (Sigalovada Sutta, DN 31)
I. "In five ways, young householder [Sigala], should a child minister to mother and father as the east:

1. I shall support them, having formerly been supported by them.
2. I shall fulfill their obligations when they are no longer able to.
3. I shall keep up the family tradition.
4. I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance.
5. I shall, when they depart, make charitable offerings to benefit them.

"In five ways, young householder, do the parents thus ministered to as the east by their child show their compassion:

1. They restrain you from doing harm.
2. They encourage you in what is wholesome.
3. They provide for your education enabling you to become independent.
4. They offer you appropriate help in selecting the best marriage possible.
5. They, at the appropriate time, hand over your inheritance.

"In these five ways does a child minister to one’s parents as the east, and the parents show their compassion to that child. Thus is the east honored and upheld by householders and made safe and secure in the way of the nobles." More

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Meeting Zen Baby Roshi (video)

Dhr. Seven and Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly, PasaDharma Zen Group

Zen novice, a future roshi, in a Catholic cardinal's lap, South Korea (Zen Mirror)

 

Child's novice ordination (buddhism.about.com)

Wisdom Quarterly's go-to Zen resource got a surprise late in life -- a pregnancy. The tulku (incarnate lama on the way to being Maitreya the messiah) found its way to the womb of his young wife to become-again. That is how it is with rebirth. But what will s/he become? Isn't it the goal of every American man to mold a son in his image? It's the Mahayana-Judeo-Christian way. The Sky Father did it for his baby "Sun" (Sonny). And astrotheology be darned, the heavenly (Space) Father did it for his Superstar. But it is much funnier when it's a slacker son. That's the way it is with the cartoon saviors of today. Boy meets world in nine (lunar) months. Congratulations!

• The Buddha as Father and Husband
• FILM: Seattle's Jesse Conrad as "Little Buddha"

(IBTimesTV) Young Buddhist novices are usually seen mediating or doing chores for their monastery. However, instead of learning or meditating, these little "monks" played as 37 novices from across the country gathered in Seoul to attend the event at South Korea's biggest Buddhist order "Jogye." The religion with around 10 million followers is about a fifth of South Korea's population. After chanting, the game began, and the kids could not have been happier. A seven year old said he always dreamed of playing soccer. "I prayed to Buddha [actually Amitabha], hoping to play soccer well. And I am happy to score a goal," he said. Seongjin, a monk at Jogye Temple, said the soccer match encapsulated the true meaning of Buddha's birthday: "As we watch novice monks play innocently, we can feel their innocence and happiness as if we feel the heart of [the] Buddha. Also our novices can have fun and their happiness can bring happiness and peace to the world. This is an event where we can share the true meaning of Buddha's birthday," he explained.

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