JOKES II: The Buddhist Comic! (video)

Editors, Wisdom Quarterly; R. Shultz; Ven. Yuttadhammo; G. Keillor; J. Rogan; S. MacFarlane...

Buddhist stand up? Oh no! Dying on stage with an American sense of humor and timing

  
Seven Minutes and 10 Seconds of Suffering
Ron Schultz, the Buddhist Comic

Bryan Krasner as Budai (sacredfools.com)

Thank you, thank you. Great to be here with you tonight at the Christian Comedy Club.

I am the Buddhist Comic. Thank you, thank you.

You know, I can feel the emptiness of the room. Can't you?

There's not a great difference between the Christians and the Buddhists -- unless, of course, you take into account that the Buddhists don't believe in an eternal God. I suppose that's a pretty big difference.

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Laugh with J. tonight only...

Anyway, I want to assure you all that being a Buddhist comic, you're not going to be hearing a bunch of "make me one with everything" jokes, or vacuums with too many attachments, or schizophrenic Buddhists who want to be two with everything. He-he. There won't even be any, "How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?" [koans/jokes]. Tree in golden forest.
 

Well, okay, let let me give you an example of what you are going to hear. Okay, so there are these two colleagues. They go into a bar. And one says to the other, "I hear you're a Buddhist?" 

MoonDoxy, Fat Happy Hotei

And the Buddhist says, "Yeah, you want to make something out of it?" Thank you, no, no, really, yes.

Okay, well, let me explain this a little. You see, the Buddhist thinks there's no such thing as independent self-arising. They don't think that anything comes into being by itself. Everything is what they call dependent arising. Everything is compounded, made of something else.

So, of course, this gets me thinking. And I decide to ask my guru a question that keeps coming up for me. So I go to him and I say, "Rinpoche," which is what I call him, "Rinpoche, isn't masturbation an example of 'self-arising'?" And he smiles, and he says, "No, no, it's just clinging to self." Ha-ha. Thanks, thanks a lot.
  

"Won't be needing this" (Mr Will Coles)

You know, I started thinking maybe I'm thinking too much about this whole thing. So, so one day I'm looking through the paper, and I discover this group, Thinkers Anonymous. I think it's perfect, right? So I go to my first meeting, and it's my turn, and I say, "Hi, my name's Ron, and I haven't had a thought in... Oh, wait a minute, I just had a thought. Wait a minute, I just had another thought!

You know, thinking about thinking, one of my favorite Buddhist jokes is actually about one of the greatest Western philosophers, Rene Descartes. So you see, Rene Descartes goes into his favorite bar.
  
And the bartender says, "Oh, Mssr. Descartes, Mssr. Descartes! How nice to see you! Will it be the usual?"

And Rene Descartes says, "I think not" and disappears. Thank you, ha ha. This must be what the sound of one hand clapping sounds like. Ha ha ha.

I tell you, these Buddhists are a funny lot, aren't they? I mean, the first enlightened thing the Buddha says is, "Everything is suffering." Pretty funny stuff, huh? And then one someone asks him, "You mean, EVERYTHING is suffering?" And the Buddha says, "Isn't it?"

Heh.  Hey, thanks, no. Anyone enlightened yet!?
 

ASK A MONK: Is humor or finding things humorous allowed in Buddhism?
  

Hey, hey, speaking of that, How many Buddhists does it take to screw in an enlightenment-bulb? Hey what's enlightenment anyway! HEY. Come on, I'm dying here.

I'm just kidding. Actually, I'm not kidding. There's something you don't get from your other ways of being, huh? The Buddhists love talking about dying. "Impermanence," they call it. Now, if that ain't funny, I don't know what is.

So what's the good news here? Actually, that's it. No matter what, we're dying. Some of us a little sooner than others. Yeah.

Family Guy: "The Dangers of Religion"

Well, um, I guess the good news is here we always got karma, huh? Good ol' cause-condition-and-effect karma. You know, it's because of our karma that we're all here together today. How lucky is that? Just us chickens.

Hey, did you hear about the one about the Buddhist chicken? Ha ha ha. Nah, I'm just kidding there. There aren't any Buddhist chickens. Well, I guess my time is up.

You get it? That's an impermanence joke. Anyway, before I'm done here, I want to leave you with a paraphrase of that great semi-Buddhist comic Steven Wright: "I don't want a p*nis. Where would I put it?" Hey, hey, hey, thanks. You've been real.

Ladies and gentleman, "the Buddhist Comic"!

Audio: the Buddhist Comic
Listen to audio of the only known performance of the Buddhist Comic

It's not funny because it's true
Comedian-philosopher Joe Rogan off of DMT and into a reality that's stranger than fiction: "The American War Machine" a.k.a. our Military-Industrial Complex

THE JOKE SHOW
Garrison Keillor, Prairie Home Companion (APM/PublicRadio.org)
An old woman gets on a plane in New York and flies to Tibet. She gets off the plane, climbs a mountain to the monastery. She bangs on the door. No answer. She bangs some more. Finally the door opens and a monk says to her, "What do you want?"

"I'm here to see the lama," the woman insists. "He's busy! He's meditating right now," the monk says abruptly as begins to close the door. The woman wedges her foot in the door saying, "I'll wait." The monk, seeing no easy alternative, opens the door and welcomes the woman in: "Take a seat; have some brown rice."

The woman waits and waits for hours then finally the heavy inner chamber doors begin to open. Incense smoke swirls out. And there in the splendor of his magnificent saffron robes and bald head stands the lama. And the woman shouts, "Sheldon! Enough! It's time to come home!" MORE:



God's Money

A rabbi, a minister, and a priest... The three church leaders were talking about tithing and the division of donations in their religions. One explained that in his tradition, he gathered all that had been given. Then he drew a small circle and tossed the money in the air. "Whatever falls in the circle is God's, the rest is mine." Another explained that he did the same thing, except he drew a big circle, kept whatever landed in it, and the rest was for God. They turned to ask the third what he did. And he explained that he didn't draw any circles. He just threw the money up in the air so God could take his share. Whatever fell to the ground, that was his money. 

-Anonymous

"When I was little, I prayed every night for a bike. Then when I grew up, I learned that God does not work that way. So I stole a bike for my own kid and asked God to forgive me."

- Marvin Purser, Hollywood, Florida

A millionaire renounces trade, turns over all his money to the church, and enters the monastery. The rules are strict. No luxuries, no commodities, and he is only allowed to speak a single word every seven years. After seven years, he is brought into the abbot's office and asked what his word is. "Hungry" he mumbles. The abbot gives him a bowl of soup and sends him back to his cell. Seven years later, he is asked again. He says "cold." The abbot gives him a blanket and sends him back. Seven years after that he comes in on his own and breaks the rule by saying two words, "I quit!" The abbot looks at him and says, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

"I was into 'extreme couponing' back when it was just called 'holding up the line.'"

- Lisa Ann Walter

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Final Days of the Buddha (sutra)

Wisdom Quarterly, Great Final Nirvana Discourse (Parinibbana Sutta, DN 16), based on Sister Vajira/Francis Story translation, "Last Days of the Buddha," Part II: Journey to Vesali

(MaretH/flickr.com)

  
The Four Noble Truths
1. Now the Buddha spoke saying: "Come, Ananda, let us go to Kotigama."
 
"So be it, venerable sir." Then the Blessed One took up residence at Kotigama together with a large community of ascetics.
 

(Glowing Star/flickr.com)

2. There the Blessed One addressed them, saying: "It is through not realizing, not penetrating the Four Noble Truths that this long course of birth and death has been passed through and undergone by me as well as by you.
 
"What are the four? They are the noble truth of anguish; the noble truth of the origin of anguish; the noble truth of the cessation of anguish; and the noble truth of the way to the cessation of anguish.

"But now that these have been realized and penetrated, craving for rebirth is cut off, destroyed is that which leads to becoming, and there is no re-arising."
 
3. Thus did the Blessed One say, and further the Happy One, the Venerable One said:
 

"Through not seeing the Four Noble Truths,

Long was the weary path from birth to birth.

When these are known, removed is rebirth's cause,

The root of sorrow plucked; then ends rebirth....

 

Stages of Enlightenment

Golden Buddha (freestyle-thailand.com)

6. Ven. Ananda approached the Blessed One (Bhagavan), greeted him, sat respectfully to one side, and said: "Venerable sir, here in [the city of] Nadika there have passed away the monk Salha and the nun Nanda.

 

Likewise there have passed away the layman Sudatta and the laywoman Sujata; likewise the layman Kakudha, Kalinga, Nikata, Katissabha, Tuttha, Santuttha, Bhadda, and Subhadda. What is their destiny, venerable sir? What is their future state?"

 

7. "The monk Salha, Ananda, through the destruction of the taints in this very lifetime has attained to the taint-free deliverance of mind/heart and deliverance through wisdom, having directly known and realized it by himself [Note 17].

 

"The nun Nanda, Ananda, through the destruction of the five lower fetters (that bind beings to the world of the senses), has arisen spontaneously (among the Pure Abode devas) and will come to final cessation in that very place, not liable to return from that world.

 

"The layman Sudatta, Ananda, through the destruction of the three fetters (self-belief, doubt, and clinging to the belief that rules and rituals can result in enlightenment), and the lessening of lust, hatred, and delusion, has become a once-returner and is bound to make an end of suffering after having returned but once more to this world.

 

"The laywoman Sujata, Ananda, through the destruction of the three fetters has become a stream-enterer, and is safe from falling into the states of misery, assured, and bound for enlightenment.

 

"The layman Kakudha, Ananda, through the destruction of the five lower fetters (that bind beings to the Sense Sphere), has arisen spontaneously (among the Pure Abode devas), and will come to final cessation in that very place, not liable to return from that world.

 

"So it is with Kalinga, Nikata, Katissabha, Tuttha, Santuttha, Bhadda, and Subhadda, and with more than 50 laymen in Nadika. More than 90 laymen who have passed away in Nadika, Ananda, through the destruction of the three fetters, and the lessening of lust, hatred, and delusion, have become once-returners and are bound to make an end of suffering after having returned but once more to this world.

 

"More than 500 [an idiom that means "a large number" of] laymen who have passed away in Nadika, Ananda, through the complete destruction of the three fetters have become stream-enterers and are safe from falling into the states of misery, assured, and bound for enlightenment.

 

The Mirror of the Dharma

8. "Truly, Ananda, it is nothing strange that human beings should die. 

"But if each time it happens you should come to the Tathagata [a self-referential term for the Buddha] and ask about them in this manner, indeed it would be troublesome to him. 

"Therefore, Ananda, I will give you the teaching called the Mirror of the Dharma, possessing which the noble disciple [one who has attained at least the first stage of enlightenment], should it be desired, can declare of oneself: 'There is no more rebirth for me in hell, nor as an animal or ghost, nor in any realm of woe [beneath the human world]. A stream-enterer am I, safe from falling into the states of misery, assured am I and bound for enlightenment.'"

 

9. "And what, Ananda, is that teaching called the Mirror of Dharma, possessing which the noble disciple may thus declare?

 

Mara comes as a gentleman.

"In this case, Ananda, the noble disciple possesses unwavering confidence in the Buddha as follows: 'The Blessed One is an arhat, the Fully Enlightened One, supreme in knowledge and conduct, the Happy One, the Knower of the World, the foremost trainer of beings, the teacher of devas and humans, the Enlightened One, the Blessed One.'

 

"The noble disciple possesses unwavering confidence in the Dharma as follows: 'Well expounded by the Blessed One is the Dharma, evident, timeless [18], inviting investigation, leading to liberation, to be comprehended by the wise, each for oneself.'

Mara's Craving, Lust, and Aversion lure Siddhartha (omegafoundation.siriuscomputing.net)

 

"The noble disciple possesses unwavering confidence in the Blessed One's Order of Disciples as follows: 'Well faring is the Blessed One's Order of Disciples, harmoniously, wisely, and heedfully, that is to say, the four pairs, the eight classes of persons. The Blessed One's Order of Disciples is worthy of honor, worthy of hospitality, worthy of offerings, worthy of veneration -- the supreme field of merit [beneficial, exponentially profitable karma] in the world.'

 

"And the noble disciple possesses virtues that are dear to the Noble Ones, complete and perfect, spotless and pure, which are liberating, praised by the wise, uninfluenced (by worldly concerns), and favorable to composure/concentration of mind.

 

10. "This, Ananda, is the teaching called the Mirror of the Dharma, whereby the noble disciple may know: 'There is no more rebirth for me in hell realms, nor as an animal or ghost, nor in any realm of woe (apaya). A stream-enterer am I, safe from falling into the states of misery, assured am I and bound for enlightenment.'"
  

Mara under the Bodhi tree (sarvajan.ambedkar.org)

11. In Nadika, in the Brick House [Monastery], the Blessed One often gave counsel to the ascetics thus: "Such and such is virtue; such and such is concentration; and such and such is wisdom. Great becomes the fruit, great is the gain of concentration when it is fully developed by virtuous conduct; great becomes the fruit, great is the gain of wisdom when it is fully developed by concentration; utterly freed from the taints of lust, [again-] becoming, and ignorance is the mind/heart that is fully developed in wisdom."
  

12. When the Blessed One had stayed in Nadika as long as he wished, he spoke to the Ven. Ananda, saying: "Come, Ananda, let us go to [the city of] Vesali."
 

"So be it, O venerable sir." And the Blessed One took up his abode in Vesali together with a large community of ascetics, and stayed in Ambapali's grove. ...
 
Mara's Appeal

Mara Devaputra (fabulousmasterpieces.co.uk)

7. And when Ven. Ananda had gone away, Mara Namuci approached the Blessed One. And standing to one side he spoke to the Buddha, saying: "Now, O venerable one, let the Blessed One come to his final passing away; let the Happy One utterly pass away! The time has come for the final nirvana of the Venerable One.
 

"For the Blessed One, O venerable sir, once spoke these words to me: 'I shall not come to my final passing away, Namuci, until my monks and nuns, laymen and laywomen, have come to be true disciples -- wise, well-disciplined, apt and learned, preservers of the Dharma, living according to the Dharma, abiding by the appropriate conduct, and having learned the Buddha's word, are able to expound it, preach it, proclaim it, establish it, reveal it, explain it in detail, and make it clear. And when adverse opinions arise, they shall be able to refute them thoroughly and well, and to preach this convincing and liberating Dharma' [23].

The Buddha reclining into final nirvana, Thailand (perstephone/flickr.com)

 

8. "And now, O venerable sir, monks and nuns, laymen and laywomen, have become the Blessed One's disciples in just this way. So, O venerable sir, let the Blessed One come to his final passing away! The time has come for the final nirvana of the Venerable One.
  

"For the Blessed One, O venerable sir, spoke these words to me: 'I shall not come to my final passing away, Namuci, until this supreme life taught by me has become successful, prosperous, far-renowned, popular, and widespread, until it is well proclaimed among devas and humans.' And this too has come to pass in just this way. So, O venerable sir, let the Blessed One come to his final passing away, let the Happy One utterly pass away! The time has come for the final nirvana of the Venerable One."

9. When this was said, the Blessed One spoke to Mara Namuci saying: "Do not trouble yourself, Namuci. Before long the final nirvana of the Tathagata will come about. Three months hence the Tathagata will utterly pass away." More

• PHOTOS: Amazing Theravada Buddhist Thailand

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Pemberitahuan True Buddha Vajrayana dan Mengumpulkan Tandatangan Bersama di Internet, Mengecam Keras Pencemaran Nama Baik dan Fitnah di Internet

Beberapa hari yang lalu, di internet sempat berebut memposting --

Pemberitahuan dari True Buddha Vajrayana Association of R.O.C: "Peringatan Keras untuk Para Oknum Amoral Agar Menghentikan Fitnah!!!" Para umat se-dharma memberikan tepuk tangan meriah dan berseru "Bagus!!!". Bagaimana pun ini adalah masyarakat yang mempunyai hukum, tanpa bukti sedikit pun, sembarangan menfitnah di internet, berarti telah melanggar hukum, sehingga akan dihukum, ditahan, dan didenda, serta internet pun diblokir, dan dibawa ke pengadilan, oleh karena itu, jangan sembarangan memberikan pernyataan palsu dan menciptakan rumor, menindas orang yang tak bersalah, dan sesuka hati mencemarkan nama baik serta mencelakai orang lain!!!"

Walaupun Buddhadharma itu berlandaskan hati welas asih, namun, jangan sembarangan menfitnah Mahaguru dan alirannya, serta merusak misi menyeberangkan insan. Oleh karena itu, pemberitahuan dari True Buddha Vajrayana Association of R.O.C. menekankan, ".....Organisasi melakukan
introspeksi mendalam, kami mencoba menangani masalah ini dengan welas asih tetapi gagal untuk melindungi Guru dan Dharma!....." Oleh karena itu, terhadap tindakan fitnah ini, dengan berpegang teguh pada semangat melindungi Guru dan Dharma, maka sudah seharusnya kita mengecam dan menentang keras fitnah yang tidak masuk akal dan sangat hina tersebut. Jika masalah ini masih dimaklumi, itu bukan tindakan welas asih, melainkan ujian yang sangat kejam untuk para siswa pemula yang baru bersarana..... Saya sangat memuji: True Buddha Vajrayana Association of R.O.C. memimpin kita semua untuk melakukan pertobatan yang paling nyata dan berusaha melindungi Dharma, serta unjuk gigi mengecam para oknum amoral, ini barulah aksi Mohon Buddha Menetap di Dunia yang sesungguhnya!

The Federation of True Buddha School Malaysia juga aktif mengimbau kita semua untuk mendukung website melindungi Guru dan Dharma. Di bawah kepemimpinan majelis, kita semua harus maju tak gentar!

Selain itu, marilah kita semua beramai-ramai mengumpulkan tandatangan di internet, menentang website para pemfitnah! Memohon agar website para pemfitnah dicabut, untuk mewujudkan gerakan "Melindungi Guru dan Dharma"!!! Berikut terjemahan surat petisi:

WordPress.com Petition 請願書 shengyenlu-truth.com

Kepada Automattic, Inc (pemilik Wordpress.com)

Blog-blog ini yang dihost oleh Wordpress.com (religiousbullshit dot
wordpress dot com dan ifuckgm dot wordpress dot com) secara sengaja
mengarang tuduhan yang tidak benar dan cerita porno untuk menghasut
kebencian dan pencemaran nama baik kepada True Buddha School, sebuah
Aliran Buddha, pendirinya Mahaguru Sheng-yen Lu, dan kami --- banyak
sekali murid-murid True Buddha School di seluruh dunia.

Blog-blog ini menyerang dan mendiskreditkan keyakinan dan praktek
Buddha Tantrayana Tibet yang diajarkan oleh True Buddha School.
Misinterpretasi makna dengan niat buruk yang merajarela di blog-blog
ini telah menyebabkan penderitaan mental yang besar bagi kami.
Terlebih lagi, blog-blog ini telah melanggar hak cipta Mahaguru Sheng-yen Lu. Mereka juga melanggar hak privasi dan nama baik Mahaguru
Sheng-yen Lu dan murid-murid True Buddha School, termasuk banyak sekali
nama-nama individu yang disebut di blog ini.

Kami percaya isi dari blog-blog ini secara nyata telah melanggar
kebijakan Wordpress.com, terutama syarat-syarat yang berhubungan
dengan hak cipta, pornografi, dan hak privasi dan publisitas dari
perorangan dan kelompok. Kami dengan keras meminta Wordpress.com
menjalankan wewenangnya untuk segera menghapus semua isi yang
melanggar kebijakannya dan yang dibuat untuk menyebarkan kebencian dan
menyakiti orang lain.

(Catatan: website link Pemberitahuan dari True Buddha Vajrayana Association of R.O.C. di http://blog.udn.com/mylv/7162500
Mari kita bersama-sama menandatangani dan mendukung petisi menentang website fitnah dan pencemaran nama baik aliran di http://shengyenlu-truth.com/wordpress_petition/）

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Saya dan Sosok SHC Yang Saya Kenal (2)

Fitnah yang disengaja pada kejadian di hotel

Penulis: Lianhua Yanhua (蓮花彥樺)



Dalam artikelnya SHC menulis:
“Pada saat di Vancouver, Aihua, Yanhua dan saya SHC menginap bersama dalam satu kamar, kebetulan menginap di sebelah kamar Sheng-yen Lu, setelah Sheng-yen Lu tahu, ia meminta Aihua dan saya SHC pulang ke Seattle pada jam 12 tengah malam itu. Kami tidak berani menolak dan hanya tinggal Yanhua sendiri yang menginap di hotel itu. Mengapa harus terlebih dahulu meminta Aihua dan saya SHC, dua orang mengendarai mobil tengah malam selama 3 jam yang begitu berbahaya kembali ke Seattle, mengapa?”

Pada tanggal 21 Pebruari 1998, Mahaguru Lu hadir di PTT Buddhist Society untuk pentahbisan Rupang Dimu. Kami para murid ikut pergi. Terlebih dahulu saya mengirim salam untuk saudari sedharma G, setelah tiba di Vancouver langsung menginap di rumahnya selama beberapa hari.

Mungkin karena umat yang berpartisipasi terlalu banyak, setelah perjamuan terima kasih kepada Guru malam itu, bagaimanapun caranya saya tidak menemukan saudari sedharma G, saat itu saya tidak ada telepon genggam untuk menghubunginya. Dalam keadaan tanpa daya, saya hanya bisa mencari saudara sedharma mana yang bisa membantu? Akhirnya saya bertemu dengan saudara sedharma A yang datang dari luar daerah, mungkin bisa berbagi satu kamar hotel dengan dia, saat itu ia berkata kebetulan ada saudara sedharma lain yang bisa menginap bersama. Teman baikku Aihua (愛嬅) juga ikut dalam perjamuan terima kasih Guru. Setelah saya dengan Aihua, SHC serta saudari sedharma D bersama-sama dengan saudari sedharma A tiba di hotel, kami bermaksud mengadu peruntungan, bertanya pada resepsionis apakah masih ada kamar kosong. Yang membuat orang senang sekaligus terkejut adalah, ternyata masih ada satu kamar. Mendengar kabar ini, saya sangat senang dan langsung memesan, lalu bertanya pada mereka apakah ingin menginap bersama? Aihua tadinya berencana akan kembali ke Seattle, setelah mendengar ada kamar kosong, ia menjadi ragu-ragu. Jadi saya katakan: atau melihat kamar dulu baru memutuskan.

Saat pergi bersama-sama, kami melihat Mahaguru Lu dan beberapa orang Acarya ada di depan. Bisa melihat Mahaguru Lu kami semua sangat gembira, saat itu kebetulan kami juga ingin naik ke lantai atas, maka kami bersama-sama mengikuti di belakang. Setelah berjalan dan berjalan, kami menemukan petugas resepsionis depan sedang menyiapkan kamar kami, ternyata kamar kami satu lantai dengan kamar Mahaguru, dan yang lebih kebetulan lagi adalah bersebelahan dengan kamar Mahaguru Lu. Kami semua sangat gembira sampai berteriak, karena ini adalah kejadian yang sama sekali tak terpikirkan. Petugas resepsionis memang samasekali tidak kenal siapa kami, dan memang tidak mungkin membocorkan siapa tamu di kamar sebelah. SHC ingin menginap, Aihua juga ingin menginap, tetapi karena ia terpikir ada urusan di hari berikutnya, juga ingin berhemat, ia menjadi ragu-ragu di pintu kamar. Saat itu kebetulan Mahaguru Lu beserta beberapa orang Acarya mendengar pembicaraan kami, lalu berkata kepada kami: Tadinya kamar ini ingin dipesan untuk Gurudhara, karena ada urusan, Gurudhara tidak bisa datang.

Dengan sangat perhatian Mahaguru berkata lagi: ‘Kalau kalian ingin pulang harus awal sedikit, hati-hati di jalan.’ Walaupun saat itu sudah malam, akhirnya Aihua memutuskan untuk pulang, SHC dan saudari sedharma D juga hanya dapat pulang bersama-sama (hari berikutnya tidak ada mobil saudara sedharma yang bisa mengantarkan mereka pulang ke Seattle, mengendarai mobil siang hari dari Vancouver sampai ke Seattle hanya perlu dua jam lebih, dan karena malam hari lalu lintas sangat lancar, biasanya lebih cepat sampai). Tanpa sengaja, tiba-tiba saya menemukan SHC memandangku dengan aneh. Saat itu saya tidak tahu apa artinya itu, sekarang setelah membaca artikel kotornya, akhirnya saya mengerti. Setelah mereka pergi, saudari sedharma A datang mengatakan kamarnya terlalu banyak orang, apakah boleh berbagi satu orang ke sini. Saya menyetujuinya. Pagi berikutnya, mereka pergi mengejar pesawat. Malam itu, yang mendampingi Mahaguru ada Acarya Lian Yin, Acarya Lian Bao. Seluruh lantai ditinggali oleh para Acarya, biksu dan para saudara sedharma.

Pagi hari berikutnya, setelah sarapan Mahaguru langsung pulang ke Seatte. Karena saya harus mengurus visa, harus tinggal di Vancouver dua hari, dan juga kebetulan bertemu dengan saudari sedharma G dalam rombongan pengantar Guru, lalu menumpang inap di rumahnya. (Paspor tahun itu saya simpan, ada tanggal-tanggal yang telah dicap oleh petugas imigrasi yang tidak dapat dipalsukan. Di dalam artikel sengaja menyembunyikan dan tidak menyebut saudari sedharma D, kebetulan saya menyimpan fotomu SHC bersama dia, apakah kamu berani membunuh saksi lain?)

SHC, ini baru fakta dari kejadian itu. Kamu demi mencapai tujuan untuk memfitnah Dharmaraja Lian Sheng Sheng-yen Lu, sengaja menyembunyikan detail kejadian, memutarbalikkan fakta. Malam itu, sudah jelas karena hari kedua ada masalah tidak ada tumpangan mobil pulang, kamu sendiri yang memutuskan ingin bersama dengan Aihua pulang ke Seattle, di sini kamu mengatakan Mahaguru Lu meminta kalian pulang. Jelas-jelas empat orang ingin menginap bersama dalam satu kamar, kamu mengatakan tiga orang. Apakah kamu mengira tidak ada orang yang akan ingat detail-detail kejadian tidak penting yang terjadi pada tahun itu, maka kamu bisa berdasarkan emosi pribadimu, dengan niat jahat mengarang cerita, menciptakan gosip, memicu gejolak besar, mencemarkan nama baik orang lain, memuaskan pikiran sesat sendiri? Sepatah pertanyaan munafikmu ‘mengapa?’ tak lain adalah untuk berharap menambah pikiran serong dan sesat dari para pembaca, untuk mencapai tujuanmu memfitnah. Jelaslah hatimu itu penuh dengan pikiran jahat dan rendah! Apakah dengan adanya lawan jenis yang tinggal di kamar sebelahmu, lantas kita bisa menyimpulkan anda melakukan cinta semalam dengan lawan jenis itu? Benar-benar menggelikan!!! Kesimpulanmu itu kalau bukan idiot, pastilah rancangan yang disengaja. Pencemaran nama baik yang kamu lakukan terhadapku, tanpa bukti dan dasar, dan tindakan tidak bermoralmu dengan memaparkan foto orang lain, komentar tidak bertanggung jawabmu, apakah kamu ingin bertanggungjawab secara hukum! Di saya juga terdapat banyak foto-fotomu, juga ada fotomu dengan saudari sedharma D, apakah kamu mau saya juga memaparkan fotomu?

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