Friendship: Fool vs. Foe (Jataka)

Wisdom Quarterly; E.B. Cowell (ed.), The Jataka: Stories of the Buddha's Former Births (Cambridge Univ. Press, 1895), Book 1, No. 44. "Mosquito and Carpenter" (Makassa Jataka)

Vishvakarma or "Carpenter's Cave," Ajanta/Ellora Buddhist archeological site India, has a carved cathedral-shaped ceiling giving the impression of wooden beams (nozomiiqel/CC)

  

"Senseless friends" -- A rebirth story was recounted by the Buddha while on alms round in Magadha, about certain foolish villagers in a neighboring hamlet. Tradition has it that after traveling from the prosperous city of Sāvatthi to the kingdom of Magadha [where King Bimbisara reigned], the Buddha arrived at the village with its throngs of fools. 

(science.howstuffworks.com)

These foolish villagers met together one day debating, "Friends, when we are at work in the jungle, mosquitoes devour us, which hinders our work. Arming ourselves with bows, arrows, and other weapons, let us go to war with the mosquitoes and shoot or hack them all to death." 

Off they went to the jungle shouting, "Shoot down the mosquitoes!" But they shot and struck one another until they were in a sad state and returned only to sink on the ground in or within the village or at its entrance.

  

Surrounded by the Monastic Order, the Buddha entered the village on a quest for alms. The sensible inhabitants of the village as soon as they saw the Buddha set up a pavilion at the village entrance. And after bestowing the wandering ascetics headed by the Buddha with alms, they bowed respectfully and seated themselves. 

  

Observing wounded men lying around on this side and that, the Buddha asked the monastics, "These disabled men laying about, what happened to them?" 

"Venerable sir," they explained, "they went forth bent on war with the mosquitoes, only to shoot one another and so disable themselves."
 

The Buddha then said, "This is not the first time that these foolish people have dealt out blows to themselves instead of to the mosquitoes they meant to kill. In former times, too, there were those who set out to hit a mosquito only to hit a fellow-creature instead." So saying, at the villagers' request, he told this story of the past.

(Nh53/flickr.com)

  

JATAKA 

Once upon a time, when Brahmadatta was reigning in Benares, the Bodhisat gained his livelihood as a trader.

 

In those ancient days, in a frontier village in Kasi, there lived a number of carpenters. By chance one of them, a balding gray-haired man, was whittling away at some wood. His scalp glistened like a copper bowl as a mosquito settled on it and stung him like a dart.

 

The carpenter said to his beloved son who was sitting nearby: "Be a good boy, son. There's a mosquito stinging my head. Drive it away."

 

"Hold still, father," answered the son. "One blow will settle it."

 

Now at that very moment the Bodhisat arrived at the village to trade. And he was sitting in the carpenter's shop.

 

"Rid me of it!" cried the father.

 

"All right, father," answered the son, who was standing behind the old man raising a sharp axe intent on killing just the mosquito. He swung and cleft his father's head in two. The old man fell dead on the spot.

  

The Bodhisat, an eye-witness to this tragic event, thought to himself: "Better than having such a foolish 'friend' is having an enemy with sense, for even just the fear of human vengeance will deter from killing a person." Then he recited these lines: 
 

Senseless friends are worse than sensible foes;

Witness the son who sought the gadfly to slay,

But, poor fool, instead cleft his father's skull in two.

  

So saying the Bodhisat rose up and departed, later passing away to fare according to his karmic deserts. As for the carpenter, his body was cremated by his kinsfolk.

CONCLUSION

"Therefore, lay followers," said the Buddha, "in bygone times too there were those who, seeking to hit a mosquito, struck down a fellow-creature." This lesson ended, he pointed out the connection by identifying the rebirth: "In those days I myself was the wise and good trader who departed after repeating the stanza."

Part III. Friendship

Buddha at Sukhothai (Aidan McRae Thomson/flickr)

(Wisdom Quarterly translation, "A Brief Code of Buddhist Ethics," DN 31)
FALSE FRIENDS
..."These four, young householder, should be understood as Foes in the Guise of Friends:

1. one who borrows your possessions,
2. one who renders lip-service,
3. one who flatters,
4. one who encourages ruin.

[Why?] "In four ways, young householder, should one who borrows your possessions be understood to be a foe in the guise of a friend:

One borrows with no thought of returning,
appropriating everything.
One gives little wanting much in return.
What one must do one does out of fear.
One is always looking out for selfish ends.

"In four ways, young householder, should one who renders lip-service be understood to be an adversary disguised as a friend:

1. One speaks proudly of favors attempted in the past.
2. One makes friendly vows regarding the future.
3. One tries to gain favor with empty words.
4. One pleads inability when an opportunity to be of service actually arises.

"In four ways, young householder, should one who flatters be understood to be a foe masquerading as a friend: More on friendship

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Lesbianism vs. $65 million dowry?

Lesbian heiress Gigi Chao is on "loving terms" with father despite $65 million dowry offer

(fanpop.com)

   

Gigi has a flood of offers (Bobby Yip/Reuters)

HONG KONG (AP) - The daughter of a flamboyant Hong Kong tycoon -- who has offered $65 million to any man who can woo her away from her lesbian partner -- said she's not upset with her father.

  

But it's unlikely she will be accepting any of the marriage proposals flooding in.
  

I'm not a feminist, but... (inourwordsblog.com)

 

Tycoon Cecil Chao made world headlines this week when he offered the unusual marriage bounty after learning that his daughter, Gigi Chao, had eloped with her lesbian partner to France.

  

"I'm actually on very, very loving terms with my father. We speak on a daily basis. He just has a very interesting way of expressing his fatherly love," the 33-year-old told The Associated Press.

  
CNBC's Robert Frank has all the details on the story about Gigi Chao's father who is offering $65 million to any man able to marry her.
  

She said her father offered the reward because he was upset after learning she had "a church blessing in Paris" with her girlfriend of the past several years. 

"What this whole episode really highlights is that perhaps still, the Chinese -- or in fact the Hong Kong mentality -- can perhaps tolerate the 'don't ask, don't tell' view of sexuality," she said. "But as a social statement, it's still very much a sensitive issue."

Hong Kong decriminalized homosexuality in 1991 without yet legally recognizing same-sex marriage. More + Video

Comedy fodder

Ashley Wells and Seven, Wisdom Quarterly (COMMENTARY)

This story will never die because it is being immortalized by Sacha Baron Cohen ("Borat," "Bruno," "Ali G"). He plans to make his next movie, which may be a comedy for a change, imagining how this dowry offer could turn out.

  

To give men a fighting chance, professional pickup artists are coming to the rescue: What can ordinary men learn from them? (And what can women learn from the lengths men have to go to to find their ideal dating/predation style?) Effeminate Southern California Public Radio (SCPR.org) personality Larry Mantle gets to the bottom of the matter: The Game: Penetrating the Society of Pickup Artists. 

  

Many men might be interested anyway, but when $65 million is hanging in the balance, there are some who would learn Chinese, move to Hong Kong, and hang around the worlds of HK high finance and Parisian fashion... all just to score. Good luck, players, but consider that Gigi might be happy now and ask yourself, Would you make her any happier?

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  Why do men and women feel the way they do about the opposite sex? Who is hot and who is not? And do we actually makes decisions about sexual attraction, or is it all beyond our control? In his new book, How Sex Works, Dr. Sharon Moalem explores the unique dynamic between biological imperatives, societal standards, and individual choice. Larry Mantle talks with him about these provocative issues. (And later in the week he discusses the new book  The Game and asks, Does the pickup artist's playbook still work?)

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Meeting Zen Baby Roshi (video)

Dhr. Seven and Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly, PasaDharma Zen Group

Zen novice, a future roshi, in a Catholic cardinal's lap, South Korea (Zen Mirror)

 

Child's novice ordination (buddhism.about.com)

Wisdom Quarterly's go-to Zen resource got a surprise late in life -- a pregnancy. The tulku (incarnate lama on the way to being Maitreya the messiah) found its way to the womb of his young wife to become-again. That is how it is with rebirth. But what will s/he become? Isn't it the goal of every American man to mold a son in his image? It's the Mahayana-Judeo-Christian way. The Sky Father did it for his baby "Sun" (Sonny). And astrotheology be darned, the heavenly (Space) Father did it for his Superstar. But it is much funnier when it's a slacker son. That's the way it is with the cartoon saviors of today. Boy meets world in nine (lunar) months. Congratulations!

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(IBTimesTV) Young Buddhist novices are usually seen mediating or doing chores for their monastery. However, instead of learning or meditating, these little "monks" played as 37 novices from across the country gathered in Seoul to attend the event at South Korea's biggest Buddhist order "Jogye." The religion with around 10 million followers is about a fifth of South Korea's population. After chanting, the game began, and the kids could not have been happier. A seven year old said he always dreamed of playing soccer. "I prayed to Buddha [actually Amitabha], hoping to play soccer well. And I am happy to score a goal," he said. Seongjin, a monk at Jogye Temple, said the soccer match encapsulated the true meaning of Buddha's birthday: "As we watch novice monks play innocently, we can feel their innocence and happiness as if we feel the heart of [the] Buddha. Also our novices can have fun and their happiness can bring happiness and peace to the world. This is an event where we can share the true meaning of Buddha's birthday," he explained.

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My Father's Stroke Emergency

I'm very shaken right now. I just got off the phone with my mother and it turns out that my father had a mini-stroke last night!! I'm on the verge of tears here as I type this out because my dad and I hadn't had the best relationship when I was growing but now (in the past decade) we've really become close and have become real friends and tight buddies. We see each other twice a week and I'm am so thankful that I have had this time with him.

Apparently he went into the middle bedroom in their house early last night to get something and was hit with a wave of exhaustion, so he decided to lie down and before long an hour had gone by. My mom just figured he needed a cat nap and didn't think anything of it until he woke up. He sat down at the table with my mom and they began discussing things when my mom noticed that he wasn't making any sense in the conversation. He was confused about what my mother was saying and was having trouble forming the right words. He was able, however, to express that he felt foggy in his head and like he was just coming out of anesthesia. Having just talked about risk factors and signs of as stroke my mom knew something was wrong and rushed him to the hospital where he was diagnosed with having had a mini stroke. He's alive and doing well now but still tired and surely concerned. He will see a specialized doctor to discuss the way forward this afternoon. The doctor that saw him in the hospital last night said that they will most likely get him on blood thinners.

I guess the good news here is that while he came close to disaster he is now aware that he is prone to such a problem and can make the changes necessary to increase his chances of avoiding a major stroke in the future. It is a time of fear that can be changed into a moment of personal growth. It is time to be reborn into a new reality that can catapult one into a more meaningful quality of life. Meditation is a great way to release the fear of sickness and death by relaxing the body and mind through concentrating on deep breathing. This kind of meditation is like pulling the plug on a bathtub to drain the water. It helps us drain all the fearful thoughts that are preventing us from finding happiness and peace in the present moment. It helps us keep up with the stress and worries in life. It is like a mini-vacation for the mind and once you relax your mind you relax your body which helps one heal.

It is times like right now when my understanding of impermanence also comes to my aid. I haven't taken my time with my dad lately for granted. I know that he is aging and even though he is in great health he isn't invincible. I love him dearly. This is a powerful reminder to me that nothing in this life is unchanging. It is a lesson in making the most of the present moment. So give your loved ones hugs and enjoy their presence because the present moment is the only moment we have. We have no assurances that there will be a tomorrow.

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