Father's Day: Buddha as Father and Husband

Dhr. Seven and Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly, PasaDharma Zen Group

Burmese depiction of royal Shakyan scene: Rahula asks for his inheritance (wikipedia.org)

   

How can a parent best help her or his child? This question came up for the Buddha, who returned to his native Kapilavastu seven years after gaining enlightenment and establishing a Sangha.

His former wife, Yasodhara, who had been left with all the palace riches and their son, Rahula, bid that boy to ask his father for his inheritance.

The boy was being well taken care of financially, surrounded by family and being groomed by the Buddha's father, Suddhodana, to become king, just as Siddhartha was meant to.

   

Rahula, the Buddha, and fellow Shakyan Ananda

The Buddha considered his son's request and realized that the only real and lasting inheritance worthy of being given to his son -- or any family member as so many of the Sakyan women later found -- was the immeasurable inheritance of the Dharma. The Buddha instructed Sariputra to ordain the 7 year old Rahula. So the son went with his father.

Yasodhara was not forgotten; she eventually became a nun and got her inheritance. King Suddhodana was deeply aggrieved and requested that from then on no child be ordained without the parent's permission -- an odd request since, technically, the Buddha was his father. [But a rule was established that no one under seven can be made a novice, and no one under 20 can receive full ordination, without parental permission.]

  

Rahula, Siddhartha and Yasodhara's son

His father the king is said to have been guided by the Buddha to a noble attainment before his passing. The Buddha's foster mother, Maha Pajapati, became the world's first Buddhist nun.

   

The Shakyan Kingdom, with its capital at Kapilavastu, was not so lucky. (Did the Buddha foresee that long in advance?) Like the world we live in, which is for crossing over not building on, it was destroyed and many of those who did not join the Sangha met with karmic catastrophe as a rival neighboring clan invaded to avenge a dishonor meted out by the Shakyas.

  

Shakyamuni and those who renounced were spared that tragic part of the vicious cycle of revolution and counterrevolution, war for territory and loss through war for territory. The tragedy was rooted, it is said, in a mysterious case of group karma stemming from an act many lives before (the poisoning of fish in a river). On account of that former deed, no one was "fated" to experience the result, as those who joined the Sangha demonstrate.

   

But actions (karma) play themselves out when and if they can, which is often so long after that we cannot connect and learn from them in any obvious way. Groups who share karma have a strong tendency and affinity for being reborn together again and again, not as a necessity. It is just karma working itself out in mysterious ways.

  

Given these facts, what more could the Buddha have done for his son -- and his wife, his father, his mother, his childhood friends and relatives -- than give them the immeasurable gift of the Dharma? What more can any parent or child do for family?

(Kim Jung-hyo and Lee Jung-a/Yonhap News/Zen Mirror)

    

But is it fair to introduce kids to the Dharma, to ask them to take robes even temporarily, to shave their heads? Just look at the misery on these Zen children's faces.
   
They were ordained and still got to play. What a loving parent would do for an only child, that the Buddha advised us to do for all living beings -- if we would be happy now and in the future.

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Mother and Father (sutra)

John D. Ireland, § 106. "With Brahma" (Itivuttaka 4.7; Iti 109); Wisdom Quarterly

Perhaps the average American family falls short of the ideal explained to Sigala below.

  

Rahula, Yasodhara, and Siddhartha

This was said by the Buddha... "Living with Brahma [the supreme] are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. Living with the early devas are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. 

   

"Living with the early teachers are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. Living with those worthy of veneration are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children. 

  

"'Brahma,' disciples, is a term for mother and father. 'Early devas' and 'early teachers' and 'those worthy of veneration' are terms for mother and father. For what reason? 

  

"It is because mother and father are very helpful to their children; they take care of them, bring them up, and teach them about the world."

   

Mother and father are called "Brahma,"
"Early teachers," and "worthy of veneration,"
Being compassionate towards
Their family of children.
Thus the wise venerate them,
Pay them due honor,
Provide them with food and drink,
Give them clothing and a bed,
Anoint and bathe them
And also wash their feet.
When one performs such service
For mother and father,
They praise that wise person even here
And hereafter that person rejoices in heaven.

 

The East: Life Begins with Parents' Care

Excerpt, Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly translation (Sigalovada Sutta, DN 31)
I. "In five ways, young householder [Sigala], should a child minister to mother and father as the east:

1. I shall support them, having formerly been supported by them.
2. I shall fulfill their obligations when they are no longer able to.
3. I shall keep up the family tradition.
4. I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance.
5. I shall, when they depart, make charitable offerings to benefit them.

"In five ways, young householder, do the parents thus ministered to as the east by their child show their compassion:

1. They restrain you from doing harm.
2. They encourage you in what is wholesome.
3. They provide for your education enabling you to become independent.
4. They offer you appropriate help in selecting the best marriage possible.
5. They, at the appropriate time, hand over your inheritance.

"In these five ways does a child minister to one’s parents as the east, and the parents show their compassion to that child. Thus is the east honored and upheld by householders and made safe and secure in the way of the nobles." More

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Buddha Boy's Divine Powers (video)

UPDATED June 18, 2012 - Wisdom Quarterly (REPORTING); Etapasvi.com (video)

Buddha Eyes overlook Kathmandu Valley, Bodhnath Stupa, Nepal (Cococinema/flickr.com)

 

The following documentary was made when Buddha Boy (now Ven. Dharma Sangha) had been meditating for three years without food or water. Controversy swirled around him. And few seemed to notice the more extreme miracle: It is extremely difficult if not impossible to sit in meditation for very long. It can be done by superhuman force. But no amount of force can get a teenager to do it for hours on end, day after day, month after month. (Test yourself: Try to sit still for five whole minutes, then imagine that multiplied by 288, the number of five-minute increments in a day, then by...). How many five-minute increments had there been for Buddha Boy in the first ten months? Yet he sat motionless all day long while people stared and filmed and tried to keep up. It's impossible, a "miracle" in and of itself. It was so unbelievable that people said it had to be a mannequin they were staring at. But he moved slightly, he was sweating, he wasn't going to the restroom, which he would have to if he were secretly being fed and given water. Fasting is not the miracle. The real miracle is overcoming the mental chatter ("monkey mind") while sitting with himself and the physical discomfort of not taking breaks.

• NOTE: it is impossible and no knowledgeable person asserts that this is the historical Buddha reborn. Having attained final nirvana (parinirvana), there is no possibility of that. What the locals mean is that Buddha Boy is a bodhisattva, a buddha-to-be, reborn into this world to gain supreme enlightenment and become a teacher pointing the way to the final end of all suffering.
• Giant [final nirvana] Buddha found in Afghanistan

(Etapasvi) "Buddha Boy" is the popular misnomer of Ram Bahadur Bomjon, who was eventually ordained and became Ven. Tapaswi Palden Dorje. 

Buddha Boy, Ven. Dharma Sangha, Palden Dorje

His stated goal was to sit and realize the liberating truth. The many visitors, onlookers, and investigators were disrupting him. He soon realized that would take six years, just as it had the historical Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama, Shakyamuni, "the Sage [muni] of the Shakya Clan"). When he left the area, he found a new banyan tree to sit under. But he also began to teach, and his message was PEACE. That seemed unlikely in the turmoil of Nepal, which has gone from a corrupt monarchy through a Maoist-revolution to some semblance of a republic. He also stood up to protest the barbaric "Old Testament" Brahmin practice of slaughtering an unbelievable number of animals to appease the Hindu gods (Nepal's Mass Animal Sacrifice) during the Gadhi Mai Fest. But the news reaching us today is that Nepal and its former-"last Himalayan Buddhist Kingdom" neighbor Bhutan have become the most peaceful nations in South Asia. His immediate goal seemed to have become to bring peace to Nepal. Mission accomplished.
   

Bhutan, Nepal most peaceful in South Asia

India.NYDailyNews.com, June 14th 2012

Vajrayana Buddhist novices (samaneras) in Nepal and Bhutan (india.nydailynews com)

  

Bhutan and Nepal have been named the first and second most peaceful South Asian nations, respectively. The Asia Pacific region is the fourth most peaceful region in the world.

Bhutan and Nepal have taken the first and second spots as the most peaceful countries in South Asia, according to the latest Global Peace Index (GPI).

  

The study, conducted by the Australia and US-based Institute for Economics and Peace (IEP), has ranked Nepal in the 80th place after Bhutan among the 158 nations it took into account.

  

While India figures much behind, in the 142nd position, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and Pakistan have been ranked 103rd, 91st, and 149th among the countries respectively.

  

The GPI, released late on Tuesday, shows Bhutan tops in South Asia with the 19th position, while China has slid in the peace index to 89th from the 80th position last year.

  

According to the report, deaths related to internal conflict, displaced people, weapons export, heavy weapons, armed service personnel, death from external conflict, weapon imports, and jailed population have declined in Nepal. More

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